we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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