bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
