I must be too annoying 4 u.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
