I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Operation Purity has been aborted
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
