But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
