I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
