It's Friday. Sex?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
