just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
