Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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