you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think your dad took our porno
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You left your phone here
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