I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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