shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
