I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize