Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
