By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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