question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
