Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
