And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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