guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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