a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Your cock deserves a montage
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
