I got chris browned last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
