I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
