YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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