Joe is yelling at the trees again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
