Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
