its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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