How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
