Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I died a long time ago.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
