It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
did i walk over a car last night?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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