Where is the hickey?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
