Well apparently he's into motor boating.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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