You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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