I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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