Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
