wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
