So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
