summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
