just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
