Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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