I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize