went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
