Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
