we're blogging at a bar
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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