I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
