Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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