He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
why do cheetos always look like penises
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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