It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
