Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
