What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Can I color on your dick again?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize