I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
