you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
