sarcasm needs its own font
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
