Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I take back everything I said about communal showers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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